if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
