My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Im part way to drunk.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
