Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
