I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
