Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
