no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
