I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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