She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
