He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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