hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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