i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
