he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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