on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
