mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
