Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
