she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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