True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
