You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
