The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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