I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
