THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
