I think my vagina is haunted
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
porn star boner night. come get it.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
