if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
