I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
