i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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