I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
