u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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