my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
