Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
