My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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