plz talk dirty to me
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
