We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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