i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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