Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
