He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
