i need an iv and a liver transplant
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
