I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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