We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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