i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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