we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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