I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
