Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
