we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
