I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he shaved USA in his pubs
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
