He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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