Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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