i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My penis needs a shock collar
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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