she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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