I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
