I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
