I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
