what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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