I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Is it because I queefed?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
