my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
